I had my first day back at work this week.
Going back to work, even if only for one day a week, leaving Miss E with family, messes with my idea of being a Stay at Home Mum. Though I still get to be a Stay at Home Mum six out of seven days a week, that one day a week of work makes me a part-time working Mum, and that’s just not where I expected to be right now.
I am in no way against mothers working. We all do what’s best for our family. Like so many other elements of being a Mum, this just isn’t happening exactly as I had imagined it to, and I’m struggling with that.
When I was pregnant, I fully believed that I would not be going back to work for at least seven years. Yep, seven years! The plan was to stay at home with my kids until my youngest was at school.
Pregnant Abby didn’t realise how expensive babies could be.
I was teary in the morning, and gave Miss E lots of kisses and cuddles before I left. I got to work and slipped straight back in to work mode, like nothing ever changed.
It was a good day, it was nice to use my brain again, but I was exhausted and headachy by the end of the day, and oh so happy to head home to my bubba.
I also discovered I may have a coffee problem. I’d usually drink 4 – 5 cups a day, but drank none while at work, and had a thumping headache all day. One cup of coffee when I got home, and all was perfect again. Might be time to drop those coffees back to two a day!
So while I grapple with what kind of Mum I am now, knowing at the same time that it really doesn’t matter, I’ll keep plodding along and see where we end up.
Most importantly, I’ll be making the most of every second I get to spend at home with Miss E.